How To Be a Rockstar Wedding Guest
Wedding season is in full swing, and you likely have a few save the date cards and wedding invitations sitting on your coffee table. You checked your calendar, are planning a shopping trip to find a stylish outfit to wear, and have started scrolling through the couple’s wedding registry. But there’s one more thing to remember, and that’s how to be a rockstar wedding guest that the couple will truly appreciate.
RSVP On Time
Invitations typically arrive six to eight weeks in advance. Don’t let it get lost in a pile of junk mail. Check your calendar and get back to the couple as soon as possible – by or before the RSVP date. The couple will need to provide a final headcount to their caterer and venue at least two to three weeks before their wedding.
Silence Your Cell Phone
There is nothing worse than hearing a cell phone dinging or playing an instrumental version of “My Humps” while the couple is getting teary-eyed during their vows. Make sure to turn off or completely silence your phone before the ceremony. If you want to use your phone to take photos, make sure to turn off your flash so as to not disrupt the lighting for the professional photographers.
Be Mindful of the Photographer
When you’re at the wedding of a close friend or family member, you want to snap photos to remember the day. But please, make sure you’re still letting the photographer do her job by not getting in her way. Don’t stand or lean into the aisle to take photos of the bride, or photo bomb with your cell during the cake cutting. The couple likely paid thousands of dollars to hire a professional to capture their wedding day. The last thing they want is Uncle John snapping photos with his phone in the background of their pictures. Also, avoid taking shots of posed group photos. This can be distracting to those getting their photo taken, as they need to focus on the photographer’s camera, and not your cell or iPad. This is one of the reasons why some couples opt for an unplugged ceremony and/or reception.
Arrive at the Ceremony Location Early
Plan to arrive at the ceremony site about 30 minutes beforehand. This is not an event where “fashionably late” is appropriate. If you are late to the ceremony, seat yourself in the back row quietly. If you arrive during the procession, wait until the bride reaches the altar to be seated. It also helps to print out directions in case your cell phone/GPS device loses signal or has a low battery. This lowers the chance of you getting lost and showing up late.
Watch Your Alcohol Consumption
Yeah, we get it, it’s a party and you’re ready to celebrate! But you also don’t want to drink so much that you end up making a scene and pull attention away from the newlyweds. Stagger your drinks and have water in between. Also, watch how much you consume on an empty stomach. You might be better off hitting the bar after you’ve had hors d'oeuvres or dinner.
Consult the Wedding Website Before Asking 20 Questions
Before you bombard the couple inquiring about the hotel arrangements, itinerary or dress code, check their wedding website to get as many details as possible. This website will likely be listed on their save the date cards or invitations. Still need clarification on something? Then you can reach out to the couple or their parents for the answer.
Don’t Call the Couple With Questions on the Wedding Day
They have enough on their plate, especially on the day of the wedding. Get your questions answered ahead of time so you’ll have no need to reach out on the day of the wedding for details like directions or what time you need to arrive. If it’s absolutely necessary to reach out, contact another guest, or the venue.
Let Them Eat Their Dinner
Couples rarely get to relax and enjoy the lovely catered meal at their wedding. They are shuffled from the ceremony to taking formal photos and then to the reception where they barely get time to eat. Because once dinner is finished, they spend time greeting guests, have their formal dances, cut the cake, etc. So please, if you want to say hello to the couple, but they are sitting down to eat their meal, be patient and wait for them to come to you, or find time to talk to them later.
Sign the Guest Book
This is your opportunity to share your congratulations, words of wisdom, or even a sweet story with the couple for them to look back on later. You probably won’t get to talk to them much on their wedding day or give a toast (unless you were asked to). But the guest book allows you to give them your well wishes.
